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i know i'm crazy but . . .

Really, it's part of my charm. Yes, I did go there. I started another fic and am posting it. Truthfully, it is just a distraction technique so all of you won't notice that I'm not updating "Accidentally in Love". ;) Hope you like the new one!

Story: Forever May Not Be Long Enough
Pairing/Characters: Collie, Chloe/Jimmy, mentions of past Clana, Lexana & Lollie
Rating: R
Disclaimer: don’t own anything
Warning: slash, mentions of m/m sex
Spoilers: season 7 (parts of it is true, others I made up)
Summary: After graduation, Clark knows he needs to go for his training and it causes him to make some tough choices.

Chapter 1

“I can’t believe we’re graduating!” Chloe exclaimed, as they stepped out of their last final. Clark grinned at his best friend.

“Me either,” he admitted. “Graduation is in two days . . . it seems so surreal.” He was graduating college with a degree in journalism. At one point, he didn’t even think that he would go back to school but then again, he didn’t expect a lot of what happened over the past couple of years.

Chloe beamed at him, oblivious to his thoughts. “Your mom is coming right?”

“Of course,” Clark said. “She didn’t know if she would have meetings or be in session but she said that she was able to make it.”

His mother, a United States Senator, was someone he didn’t get to see to often. Three years ago, after Senator Burke’s murder, she had been chosen as his replacement. She would be finishing her term this year and was going up for reelection. From what he had been hearing, there was a high probability that she would win.

He was proud of his mother, and of all the good things that she had accomplished. But there were times when he missed her. She was living in Washington D.C., so he only saw her on holidays. It was his mother leaving that caused him to reflect on his life as well. Though he loved the farm, he just couldn’t imagine staying there his entire life.

So he applied to Metropolis University and had been accepted as a journalism major. When he had thought about what he wanted to do with his life, he realized how much he enjoyed digging up stories with Chloe. His best friend was too pleased that she “pulled him over to the dark side.” Lois had been surprised, but he could tell she was proud of his decision.

One thing was for certain and that was he had to get his life back together. After Lana’s death . . . Clark winced inwardly as he remembered the pain he felt upon finding out his first love was dead. But she was and he was forced to move on.

Lex had managed to get out of jail . . . lack of evidence, they said. But Clark knew it was the Luthor cover-up machine working at full swing. He was hardly in Smallville these days and more in Metropolis. Somehow, Clark had managed to duck him and their meetings remained few and far apart.

Chloe had almost died. In fact, they thought she was dead. When Clark had found Lois freaking out with an unconscious Chloe, they all figured she was dead. It was only later when Clark heard her screaming from the morgue did he realize that she was still alive. He saved her and he found out she had a meteor induced ability. A healing power. What started out as just healing tears developed and now Chloe could heal with her hands. It was amazing and Clark was in awe every time he saw her use it.

Which wasn’t often and Clark made sure she was careful. The last thing he wanted was for her to fall under Lex’s radar again. He had almost lost her once and that had been one of the worst moments in his life.

Lois didn’t know about Chloe’s ability and they intended on keeping it that way. Though she was one of Clark’s closest friends and Chloe’s cousin, neither of them wanted to share this with her. Of course, Lois had a lot of questions but somehow, they managed to evade them, giving her answers that appeased her without giving off too much information.

Speaking of which, Clark thought as he saw a familiar brunette approaching. When Metropolis University reopened, Clark hadn’t been the only one to return to school. Lois had joined him and now all three were graduating together.

“Hey guys!” Lois said happily. “We’re done!”

“How’d your last final go Lois?” Chloe asked, smiling.

“Long,” Lois sighed. “But it was good.” She turned to him. “Hi Smallville. You’re awfully quiet over there.”

“Not all of us can talk as much as you, Lois,” Clark teased. Lois stuck her tongue out at him and Clark laughed.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I swear, the two of you are impossible. We’re all adults and both of you still act like children.”

“It’s the way we interact,” Lois said. “The jokes are the basis of our relationship. It’s the way we show we care.”

Clark nodded. “Yup, what she said.”

At this, Chloe was unable to hide her smile. “So Lois,” she said, changing the topic. “Got any plans for the summer?”

“Going to look for a job,” Lois sighed. “But after a little bit of relaxing first, of course.” Lois had stayed at the Inquisitor but all three of them knew she was looking for greener pastures.

Lois paused and gave them a half smile. “Do you know? The General is coming to graduation.”

“You’re kidding!” Chloe exclaimed. Clark raised an eyebrow but remained silent.

“Nope,” Lois responded, shaking her head. “He’ll be here and Lucy will too.” Clark could tell she was trying to remain nonchalant but he saw the excitement in her eyes. Lois, for all her tough attitude, really did miss her family.

“That’s great Lois,” Clark said sincerely. He was rewarded with a small smile.

“What about you guys?” Lois questioned.

“Dad will be here,” Chloe confirmed. Gabe Sullivan didn’t get to see his daughter very often. His new job had taken him to Topeka but Chloe had excitedly told him how he was going to be there for graduation.

“Mom will be there too,” Clark added.

Lois grinned. Then she glanced at Clark with a sneaky look on her face. “Is someone else going to be there cheering for you Clark?”

He couldn’t help the blush that arose at her words. “Lois . . .”

“Oh, you know who I’m talking about,” Lois teased. “He’s 6’3”, blonde, billionaire . . . goes by the name of Oliver Queen?”

“He’ll be there too,” Clark admitted.

Even the mention of Oliver’s name got a reaction out of Clark. Which was another part of his life that had changed drastically over the past couple of years. Something he hadn’t even seen coming. Oliver’s position in his life. Never had he expected his feelings for Oliver to change the way they did. One day he was just a friend and the next, Clark was looking at him in a completely different way.

For someone who had always presumed himself to be straight, it was a harsh reality to face. But he had overcome it and the fact that Oliver had feelings for him as well made it a lot easier. They’d been together a little over two years and Clark could remember when he first realized his feelings like it was yesterday.

Opening the door, Clark glanced around the farmhouse. Empty. It seemed that his mother wasn’t back yet. It was Christmas break and immediately after he had finished his last final, he had headed home. The empty farmhouse made him a little sad but he tried his best to think happy thoughts. No matter how lonely he was inside.

But he couldn’t help but think of all the Christmases that had been so different. Decorating the farm with lights, choosing a tree . . . Christmas had always been such a celebrated time of year in the Kent Farm.

Now everything had changed. His father was dead, his mom was living in D.C. and he would be at school most of the year. Going back hadn’t been easy and getting back into the routine had taken awhile but having Chloe and Lois around made it easier.

The past couple of months hadn’t been easy and not even just in terms of school. He had had to go to school but still had an obligation to remove the Zoners. The most difficult one was over though. But he had gone through so much before it was all over.

Lana was dead and Lex hadn’t even stayed in jail. But at the time, he wasn’t able to concentrate on grieving her. He still had to stop the Phantom. Had to work on protecting the world and himself from his doppelganger, who had the same abilities as him but had an immunity to green kryptonite.

It wasn’t easy but he had stopped Bizarro, as he dubbed the Phantom. With the help of J’onn, he found out that his duplicate had a weakness to blue kryptonite. At first, he had just been stunned that there was yet another color of the meteor rocks but he hadn’t had time to mull over it.

Finding the Phantom was easy and after a violent battle, he had used the blue kryptonite (which had no effect on him and it worked. Only after it was all over was he able to process what happened. Lana’s death hit him the hardest and it took all his willpower not to lose it when he found out Lex was out of jail.

He had put his efforts into getting ready for school, finding the remaining Zoners . . . anything to get his mind off Lana. It hadn’t been easy but his broken heart was slowly healing. Clark still missed her like crazy and there were times he looked out in the window of his loft, only to remember how she used to live right next door.

The funeral had been difficult. It hadn’t been too big consisting of his mom, Nell and Dean, Chloe, Lois and a few other people. Lex hadn’t shown up though Clark was positive he saw a figure lurking around. But he was mourning Lana . . . the last thing he wanted was to find Lex. There was no way he would be able to keep his cool then.

Sighing, Clark made his way to his loft. His safety, his Fortress of Solitude as he once called it. It still provided him a level of comfort that he hadn’t been able to find anywhere else. Especially not in the apartment he shared with Lois and Chloe. Living with two women was not easy but he preferred it to the dorms. The rent was fairy cheap and it was close to campus.

He had a scholarship to cover his tuition and books so he got a job on campus to cover rent. Once he got back into it, Clark found he really loved school. Chloe and Lois were usually in his journalism classes so he had two study buddies.

But now he was just happy to be home. His first set of finals were over. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the weeks before because he was too busy studying but they were over and he thought he did pretty well.

Too lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize where his feet were leading him. Snapping back to reality, he looked around and found he was in his loft. Slowly, he made his way to the opening and looked out, watching the snowflakes fall.

Engrossed in the scene before him, he didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. Only when the familiar voice called his name did he turn.

“Hey Clark,” a voice came from behind him. He spun, surprised and was shocked to meet amused brown eyes. Oliver Queen was standing in his loft. And when did he arrive anyway?

“Hi Oliver,” Clark greeted him. “What’s new?”

Oliver smiled. ‘He has a nice smile.’ Where had that come from? Wait, Oliver was saying something.

“Just visiting, Clark,” Oliver told him. “Hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

Clark shook his head, trying to concentrate. “No, I just got home a little while ago.”

“Finals done then?” Oliver asked and Clark nodded.

There was an awkward silence where neither knew what to say. Clark decided to be the one to break it.

“I heard you guys are doing a good job . . . with your mission,” Clark said, careful with his words.

“Yeah,” Oliver replied, taking a seat on the couch. “We’re taking a short break now. I had some business in Metropolis to take care of.”

Clark sat next to him. “Will you be here for a little while?”

“A couple of weeks, yes,” Oliver answered. “Why?”

“You’ll join us for Christmas dinner then,” Clark said.

“Oh, no,” Oliver protested. “I couldn’t.”

He grinned at Oliver. “I’m sorry, I must’ve phrased it to be a question. It wasn’t. You will be there at Christmas dinner and will celebrate New Year’s with us too. If you think I’m going to let you sit alone in that penthouse, you’re out of your mind.”

Why he cared about Oliver so much, he didn’t know. He chalked it up to caring about a friend. Then again, do friends notice how good their friends look?

And Oliver did look good. A dark sweater and pants . . . a simple outfit but on him, it was so much more. Clark forced himself to meet his eyes, hoping that he wasn’t being too obvious.

“I suppose,” Oliver was saying, “if it’s an order, I have no choice but to oblige.”

“It’s an order,” Clark confirmed. But it was hard to focus on Oliver’s words when it would be so easy to get lost in his eyes.

They were such a beautiful shade of brown. It was like a mirror to his soul. Everything Oliver was feeling was reflected in his eyes.

“So Clark,” Oliver said suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. “How have you been?” He paused. “I heard about Lana . . . I’m so sorry. It’s kind of late, I know . . .”

“It’s okay,” Clark said quickly. “I mean, Lana’s death was not okay but it’s getting better. I’m getting better.”

Oliver covered Clark’s hand with his and a shiver ran through his spine at his touch. But Clark remained outwardly calm.

“You’re strong,” Oliver told him. “I have no doubt you’ll get through this.”

Brown eyes met green. One look into those expressive eyes and Clark was gone. Words were flowing out before he had a moment to think about what he was saying. Before he knew it, he was telling Oliver everything- about him, about what had happened over the past couple of months.

Once he started, he found he couldn’t stop. Didn’t stop until he reached the end of the story, at least the temporary ending. He took a few deep breaths, unable to believe that he had practically told Oliver his life story. What would he say now? Would he see him differently? Clark didn’t meet Oliver’s gaze, too embarrassed and afraid of what he would see there.

But no words were spoken. Because all of sudden, Clark found himself wrapped in a warm embrace. Clark was taken aback for a second but returned the hug. He breathed in the citrus and Ralph Lauren cologne and something that was just purely Oliver.

He reluctantly pulled away and stared at Oliver, blushing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you all that . . .”

But he was cut off by Oliver. “Don’t be sorry, don’t ever be sorry for telling people how you feel. You can trust me, you know.”

“I know,” Clark said softly.

“When we first met, you were always brooding,” Oliver began. “I could never figure you out. But lately, I’ve been thinking about you and I remembered your eyes.”

“My eyes?” Clark repeated. Oliver had been thinking about him? And why did that cause his heart to flutter?

“Mmmhmm,” Oliver said, giving him a smile. “Even when you were happy, your eyes were always guarded. Except for a few moments when you were with Chloe, it was as if you were hiding. Hiding behind this façade. I didn’t understand why you had this martyr complex. You always seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Now I get it.”

Seeing Clark’s bewildered expression, he continued. “Thank you for trusting me with this. I promise, on my parents’ grave, that I won’t tell a soul.”

Clark observed the earnest expression, noted the tone of his voice. But it was his eyes that got to him. Those beautiful eyes so filled with hope that Clark couldn’t help but melt.

“I never doubted that for a second,” Clark said honestly. “I trust you.” He was shocked at how much he meant those words.

Oliver smiled and Clark smiled back. It was at that moment where he knew there was no point in denying it any longer. He was falling for Oliver Queen.

Chapter 2
Tags: collie, fandom: smallville, fanfic, ship: clark/oliver, story: forever may not be long enough
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