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ficlet: the blonde curse

Title: The Blonde Curse
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing/Characters: Clark/Oliver, Chloe, Lois
Rating: PG
Word Count: 998
Warnings: slash
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: all characters belong to the CW/DC Comics
Summary: Chloe explains Ollie’s disadvantage when it comes to Clark.
A/N: For my 50ficlets table, prompt: "envy"

Oliver Queen wasn’t a jealous man by nature. After all, what did he have to be jealous of? He was rich, handsome and if the way people reacted to him was any indication, pretty damn charming.

Sure, he had wished once or twice that he had some powers to make his nighttime job easier, but he had even gotten over that.

But right now? He could only describe how he was feeling as jealousy, as he watched Clark and Lois talk and laugh. It seemed that the duo had gotten a lot closer since they began to work together at the Planet.

In fact, it was almost like they were … flirting. And he was not okay with that.

Most people would think he was jealous of Clark, since Lois was his ex, but his jealousy was aimed at Lois, for having Clark's attention.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” a voice piped up beside him. He turned toward the sound and found Chloe standing there, holding a glass of champagne.

He raised an eyebrow. “What isn’t my fault?”

“How you feel,” Chloe clarified.

“How do I feel?” Ollie challenged.

“Love, confusion,” Chloe answered. She gestured to Clark and Lois. “Envy.” Eyeing him, she added, “You fell for Clark. It happens to the best of us.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Oliver agreed, not even bothering to argue. “Seems like his interest lies elsewhere though.”

“I also know how that feels,” Chloe snorted. “That too isn’t your fault … you’re a blonde.”

“Excuse me?” Oliver asked. “What does my hair color have to do with anything?”

“Everything!” Chloe exclaimed. “When it comes to Clark, there’s a blonde curse.”

“A blonde curse,” Oliver echoed.

“Yes,” Chloe said patiently. “If you’re blonde, you don’t stand much of a chance. He tends to fall for brunettes. Sure, he likes blondes but it never works out.”

“But it didn’t work out with Lana either and she’s a brunette,” Ollie pointed out.

“Yes, but he was in love with Lana,” Chloe countered. “It doesn’t matter if it works out or not. He only has crushes on blondes; he falls in love with brunettes.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Oliver said, frowning.

“Hey, I’ve known Clark for almost 10 years,” Chloe told him. “When it comes to him, there’s nothing too far out.”

“So you’re saying just because I have blonde hair, I don’t have a shot?” Oliver said incredulously. “So if I go dye my hair brown, he’ll notice me?”

“I don’t know,” she responded, wrinkling her nose. “I mean, you’re still naturally a blonde. Might not work.”

“That makes no sense,” Oliver declared, “And I, for one, don’t believe in curses. As far as I’m concerned, it’s all just a bunch of coincidences.”

“Yeah, but you’re still standing here, aren’t you?” Chloe shot back.

“Not anymore,” Oliver said, filled with a new determination to prove her wrong. “If you’ll excuse me, I have something I have to do.”

He walked toward Clark and Lois, completely missing the smug smirk on Chloe’s face.

“Excuse me,” he said, when he reached the duo. “Can I steal Clark away for a minute? I need to talk to him about something very important.”

“Sure,” Lois agreed. Winking, she added, “You boys behave.” Then, she sauntered off. If Ollie had seen her expression, he would’ve found that it matched Chloe’s perfectly.

But he was too concentrated on Clark to notice.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Clark asked.

“Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private,” Oliver suggested. Clark nodded and the two of them went out to the balcony.

A silence fell between them, Oliver not knowing quite where to start. Clark ended up being the one who broke the silence.

“So … was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” he prompted. He grinned and added, “Because I am starting to think you brought me out here to ravish me or something.”

Ollie’s jaw dropped. When did Clark Kent become this bold?

Regaining his composure, Ollie leered. “Would you have a problem if I did?”

“You wouldn’t get any complaints here,” Clark responded, moving closer to Ollie.

"He only has crushes on blondes; he falls in love with brunettes." Chloe’s words hit him, and he found his mood dampened. Because even if he said he didn’t believe her, it was tough, because she had known Clark for a lot longer than he had.

Clark lips pursed at seeing Ollie’s sudden change of mood. Nudging him lightly, he asked, “What’s up with you?”

“Do I have to dye my hair brown?” Oliver blurted out, before he could stop himself. Damn it, he didn’t mean to say that.

“What?” Clark asked, clearly puzzled.

Sighing, he explained what Chloe told him. Much to his surprise, Clark burst out into laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Ollie asked.

“It’s just funny that you of all people would believe that,” Clark said, smiling.

“I didn’t,” Ollie protested, “Not really anyway.”

“Oliver,” Clark said patiently, “It’s not like I’ve dated a whole lot … what’s happened in the past is more than likely nothing more than a coincidence.”

“Oh.” And wasn’t that what he had thought in the first place?

“Besides,” Clark added cheekily. “Since I’m currently heads over heels for a blonde right now, I think that it defies that so called theory, don’t you?”

“You are?” Ollie managed, silently cursing his lack of communication skills.

“Oh yeah,” Clark said, and before Ollie could respond, captured his very willing lips, effectively ending the conversation.

Ollie was used to being the one in charge, but as Clark’s tongue found his way into his mouth, he was more than okay with handing over the reigns … for now, at least.

And if there was a curse, he was going to be the one to break it.

Inside the room, in a position where they could see what’s going on outside, Chloe and Lois exchanged smiles and toasted to their success.

Mission accomplished.
Tags: category: slash, challenge: 50ficlets, fandom: smallville, fanfic, ship: clark/oliver
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