Title: Heart of Glass
Pairing/Characters: Collie, Clois & Oliver/Dinah
Disclaimer: don't own anything
Summary: sequel to "Not Enough" Oliver's devastated by the news of Clark's engagement
Table is here
Oliver watched Clark walk out and he felt as if his feet were cemented to the ground. The man he loved just announced he was going to marry another woman and he didn’t say anything. Just stood there. And now he let him walk out of his life.
You didn’t even tell him how you felt. That was true too and Oliver had never felt like a bigger fool. He had listened as Clark admitted his love for him but he hadn’t said a thing back.
Though, in his defense, he hadn’t expected the proposal. Sure, he knew Clark and Lois were serious about one another. But marriage? Already? Dinah and he had been dating longer than those two and they hadn’t even discussed marriage!
So that’s why when Clark arrived, he didn’t think much of it. He figured that he was just surprising him.
He was taken aback when he moved to kiss Clark and Clark just stepped back. Before he could question the action, Clark dropped the bomb.
And it hurt. It hurt like hell. His heart felt as if it had been ripped into shreds. Now that he knew Clark loved him, it was a lot worse.
His eyes darted to the glass on the desk and he picked it up, throwing it against the wall. The shattering sound did little to ease the pain but he just needed to break something. Let out his anger, his frustration.
You knew it wouldn’t last forever. Did he really know that? Both Clark and he knew what they were doing was wrong. At least Clark hadn’t been seeing anyone when they first got together and even made an attempt to end it when he started going out with Lois.
But Oliver had been with Dinah before Clark came into the picture. Granted it had been a new relationship but either way, he was taken. That didn’t stop him from engaging in an affair with Clark. The man was a re-incarnated Greek God and even when the met in Smallville, Oliver always had the urge to just push him over the nearest desk and have his way with him every time he came to visit.
Clark had disappeared for about 2 years and when he returned, he was even handsomer than before. If that was possible.
It would’ve been easy if looks were all there was. But Clark had a heart of gold and was one of the nicest people Oliver ever had the pleasure of knowing. And Oliver fell in love- harder and faster than he ever thought was possible.
Two years of his life had just walked out of the door. They should’ve known that reality would’ve caught up to them soon enough. Dinah and Lois. Dinah. Dinah was a woman who deserved much better than him. She was vibrant, beautiful and had a great personality. She was fun to be around and loyal to the core- one of the League’s most hardworking members.
She didn’t deserve a cheating boyfriend who was in love with his male lover. Several times, he had thought about ending the relationship but he didn’t have the strength to. Just like he wasn’t courageous enough to ask Clark for more, he couldn’t break it off with Dinah.
Because just like Clark did love Lois, he loved Dinah. Loved her carefree laugh and the way she smirked when she knew she was right. He loved how she understood him and they could talk about anything.
However, as he spent more time with Clark, his feeling for Dinah changed. His head didn’t spin around her like it did when Clark was in the room. When she touched him or when she kissed him, his heart didn’t feel like it was going to explode.
Not like it did when he was around Clark. When he was with Clark, everything was magical. I’m such a fool . . . it was love all along. But all they could have was sex and he clung to it, not risking asking for more in fear of rejection, in fear of losing what little he had of Clark.
It didn’t matter, he lost him anyway.
The next couple of months were the hardest. Everyone was gushing over the upcoming Lane-Kent wedding. The Daily Planet had a note of congratulations to their two star reporters and even the League couldn’t stop talking about it.
He couldn’t escape. Clark barely spoke with him anymore and he felt himself withdrawing, from the team, from his friends, from Dinah. Hal constantly asked him if he was all right, as did AC and Victor. Most of the time, he was successful in ducking their questions.
Then Dinah caught on. He had been trying his best to act like he was okay but it was difficult. It was not easy to pretend like he wasn’t dying inside. Like every time he saw or heard anything about the wedding, it wasn’t a direct stab to his heart.
Dinah confronted him one day. They had just had a league meeting so he was in Metropolis “on business”.
“What’s going on Ollie?” his girlfriend demanded.
“What do you mean Dinah?” Oliver asked, trying to keep calm. She didn’t buy the act though.
“I mean that you’ve been acting differently,” Dinah pointed out. “Everyone notices Ollie. You hardly speak to your friends, you’re practically antisocial at League meetings. You’re pulling away from me too.”
“Meetings aren’t a time to socialize Dinah,” Oliver retorted. “We’re there to work.”
“But you used to consider them friends,” Dinah argued. “Now it’s like you’re a completely different person. And what about us Ollie?”
“There’s nothing wrong with us,” Oliver told her.
Dinah frowned. “Everything is wrong with us. Lately, it’s as if I am the only one in this relationship. Oliver, you’ve been acting off . . .” Her eyes widened. “You’ve been acting off since Clark and Lois announced their engagement.”
Oliver’s heart clenched. Oh, no, she couldn’t have figured it out. Could she?
The guilt on his face gave her confirmation. “Oliver,” she said slowly. “I know you and Lois used to go out . . . do you still have feelings for her?”
Oh God, she thinks I have feelings for Lois? “I loved Lois once,” he agreed. “But I don’t love her anymore. Believe me, Dinah, I’m not interested in Lois Lane at all.”
Her expression turned to relief. Then her eyes narrowed. “Wait a second . . . Oliver, you say you don’t love Lois. And I believe you.” She paled. “But it’s not Lois is it? You don’t want to be with Lois, you’re jealous of her.”
His throat tightened. “Dinah . . . it’s not what you think.”
“You want Clark,” Dinah said softly, looking horrified. “How long Ollie?”
“Dinah,” he tried but she was quick to cut him off.
“You’ve been acting like someone with a broken heart,” Dinah stated. “He’s been avoiding you . . . the two of you were not just friends, were you?”
“Dinah,” he began but he didn’t get a chance to speak. He didn’t need to; the truth was in his eyes.
“How long?” Dinah demanded. “Tell me, Ollie, how long have you been cheating on me?”
There was no point in lying anymore. “Two years.”
The slap was completely expected but it still caught him off guard. He touched his now aching cheek, knowing he deserved that.
“Dinah,” he said but she shook her head, taking a few steps back. Her lovely blue eyes were filled with tears.
“I never meant to hurt you.” Wasn’t that the most cliché line he could’ve spurted?
“If you didn’t want to hurt me, you shouldn’t have cheated,” Dinah said, tears spilling over. “Why did you stay with me, Ollie, when you really wanted someone else? I thought you loved me.”
“I do love you Dinah,” Oliver said desperately.
“But you are in love with him,” Dinah concluded.
What could he say to that? The question didn’t require a response; they both knew the truth.
“God, Lois,” Dinah said suddenly. “Clark’s been cheating on her all along.”
“Don’t tell Lois,” Oliver pleaded. “Please . . . Clark and I are over now.” They had been over for months but it still hurt every time he said it aloud. “He ended it . . . he wants to marry her. If you tell her, she’ll be destroyed . . . she’ll break the engagement for sure.”
“Doesn’t she deserve to know the truth?” Dinah countered.
“Yes, but it’s not your place to tell her that,” Oliver responded. “If she needs to hear it, she has to hear it from Clark.”
Dinah pursed her lips. “You know if they break up, he’ll come back to you.”
“I don’t care,” Oliver said and was surprised that he actually meant it. “He wants to be with her, he wants to marry her and start a family. All I care about is his happiness.”
Once upon a time, he accused Clark of being a martyr but for the first time, he was seeing Clark’s point of view. When you loved someone more than anything, their safety and happiness came first.
“Even if it is as the expense of your own?” Dinah questioned.
Oliver didn’t hesitate. “Yes. He’s more important.”
“You love him that much.” It was a statement, not a question.
She stared at him incredulously. “What were you thinking Ollie?”
“I wasn’t thinking Dinah,” Oliver confessed.
“Clearly,” Dinah sighed. “I can’t look at you right now. I just have to go.” She made a move toward the exit.
“Dinah, wait,” Oliver said.
She turned back and shook her head. “No Ollie, I can’t. I’m gone . . . we’re over. Maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive you but right now, this all hurts too much. Because I was in love with you Ollie. So just . . . don’t.”
With that, she walked into the elevator, leaving him alone once again.
Being dumped was not something that he was surprised by but he found that it hurt. Because Dinah was important to him and he had loved her, as both a girlfriend and a friend.
With her, he wasn’t completely alone and all his life, since his parents passed away, he secretly longed for companionship. But it seemed that he was destined to walk through life by himself.
His eyes darted to the smashed glass pieces that were harbored near a wall. He had ordered that nobody clean it up, and though people didn’t understand, he needed a reminder.
Making his way toward them, he crouched and picked up a small piece. The sharp edge dug into his fingers, drawing blood. But the pain was barely noticeable. He was already numb.
Staring at it, he couldn’t believe how small it was or that it had once been a part of a whole glass. There were so many pieces and he knew that this glass would never be whole again.
He couldn’t help but compare the glass to his heart. Broken so suddenly. Just like he had shattered the glass against the wall, Clark’s announcement that he was going to marry Lois had shattered his heart.
Broken it and left in too many pieces to ever be put together again.