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09 June 2011 @ 08:55 pm
ficlet: late night calls  
Title: Late Night Calls
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing/Characters: Clark, Lois, Oliver, mentions of Clark/Lois, Clark/Oliver and Clark/Lois/Oliver
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 675
Warnings/Spoilers: slash, spelling mistakes are intentional, language/none
Disclaimer: all characters belong to the CW/DC Comics
Summary: Clark gets a late night phone call.
A/N: for tvrealm's Drunk Dial Challenge.

The shrill ringing of the telephone woke him up. Clark groaned, opening his eyes. Who could be calling now, he wondered. Finding his cell phone, he answered with a wary, “Kent.”

“Smallville!”

“Lois?” he said, immediately recognizing her vioce. Sitting up, he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Course I am, Smallville,” Lois replied. That’s when he heard the slur in her voice. She’s drunk, he realized. This was going to be fun. Not.

“Then do you realize what time it is?” he demanded.

“Umm … no?” she said, and giggled. He heard her ask, “What time is it?”

“Dunno,” a second voice said.

“Lois, who is that?” he asked, worried.

“It’s Ollie!” Lois told him cheerfully. “Say hi, Ollie!”

“Hi Boyscout,” Oliver's voice came over the line.

Clark sighed. “What are you two up to?”

“We were drinking,” Lois dropped her voice, as if sharing a secret. He could picture the expression on her face and smiled at the mental image. “Hol’ on, lemme put you on speaker.” He heard her mutter, “Now where is that button?”

He heard the sound of a few buttons being pushed before Lois declared, “Ah-ha, got it! Now you can talk to us both, Clarkie!”

“Clarkie?” Oliver repeated.

“Yeah,” Lois said. "I call him that .. great, huh?”

“I like Boyscout,” Oliver announced.

“I like that one too!” Lois agreed.

“Do I need to be apart of this?” Clark wondered.

“Aww, you’re no fun, Clarkie,” Lois said sadly. “Doncha wanna talk to us?”

“Maybe when you’re not drunk,” Clark responded, relaxing into his bed.

“Not drunk,” Lois argued. “Just … tipsy. We were playing a game.”

“Never play games with Lois,” Oliver advised. “She’s very good.”

“I am very good,” Lois agreed. “I totally won!”

“Sounds like you both lost,” Clark laughed. “That why you called me?”

“Nu-uh, Clarkie,” Lois said. “Why did we call you?”

“The bucket list,” Oliver said helpfully.

“Yes, the bucket list,” Lois echoed. “We made one.”

“What is a bucket list?” Clark questioned.

“A bucket list is the people you want to fuccckkkkk,” Lois said, drawling out the last word, causing him to blush. “You know, before you die and all.”

"What does that have to do with me?” he said.

“Well, you were on our list!” Lois replied.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You made our list,” Lois said again. “We'd totally fuck you, Clarkie.”

“You would?”

“Uh, duh,” Oliver said. “I mean, you’re wound up a bit tight, but you’re fuckin hot.”

“And fucking him would be hot,” Lois chimed in.

He was glad that they couldn’t see him, because his face was bright red.

“Clarkie, you’re being quiet,” Lois whined. “You’d fuck us, right?”

“You’re both drunk,” Clark stated. “Maybe you should sleep this off.” The truth was he didn’t want to answer that question.

“Don’t want to sleep this off,” Lois protested. “Want to sleep with you … and you know, not sleep.”

“Oooh, me too,” Oliver agreed.

“I want to watch that,” Lois said. “Would you let me watch?”

“Of course,” Oliver said. “Can I watch you guys?”

“Yup,” Lois said. “We should all sleep together!”

Clark needed to get off the phone. The images their conversation were producing were killing him.

“I need to go,” Clark tried. “And you need to go to sleep.”

“We don’t want you to go,” Lois said. “We want to fuck you. Come fuck us, Clarkie.”

He had to hang up before he took them up on their offer. Thinking quick, he said, “How about we make a deal?”

“I like deals,” Oliver said. “I’m great at those!”

“You guys hang up and go to sleep,” Clark said slowly. “If you remember this conversation in the morning, well …”

“We can have you?” Lois asked excitedly.

“Sure,” Clark agreed. “You can have me.” Not like they’re going to remember anyway.

“Yay!” Oliver and Lois cheered.

“Night, guys,” Clark said.

“Night, Clarkie!” they said in unison.

Hanging up, Clark put the phone aside. As he drifted back to sleep, he couldn’t help but hope that they'd remember.
 
 
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
 
prophet144prophet144 on June 10th, 2011 04:19 am (UTC)
I so think that they should remember... and I can see Ollie being the one to remind Clark of it.
svgurl: oliver finale smilesvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:41 am (UTC)
Oh, they definitely would remember. IDK ... I think Lois is really the loudest of the three but Ollie would definitely make suggestive comments to show he does remember. He's a bit more subtle though. :D

Thanks for reading and taking the time to review!
Stef: Smallville - Oliver Queen/Clark Kent - Ochaotic4life on June 10th, 2011 11:26 am (UTC)
There will be a sequel, right! Because THERE NEEDS TO BE A SEQUEL!!!
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:42 am (UTC)
LOL I haven't planned for a sequel but I'll consider it! :D

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. :)
La Nena: Damn baby TWsupercaptain182 on June 10th, 2011 12:39 pm (UTC)
Sequel, yes? I have a feeling that Oliver and Lois will remember everything. Poor Clark will have to perform on the spot. *g*
svgurl: tom welling amusedsvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
I hadn't really planned for a sequel but I will definitely consider it, if I have some free time. But yes, you can count of them remembering everything. Hopefully they're a bit hungover so Clark will have some time. ;)

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment! :)
januaried: fandom: Smallvillejanuaried on June 10th, 2011 02:43 pm (UTC)
*sporfle* Now we need a sequel. XD
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it! I will definitely consider a sequel, if I have some time.

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!
saavikam77: Clark/Ollie Miss Yousaavikam77 on June 10th, 2011 03:04 pm (UTC)
Eep! XD

I *SO* hope they remember in the morning. >:D
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC)
Trust me, they will definitely remember. ;)

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!
eternal_moonieeternal_moonie on June 10th, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
Absolutely AWESOME!!!

I agree with chaotic4life!
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:45 am (UTC)
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. And I will consider a sequel, if I have some time. It seems to be a popular request. :)
Jen: ClarkThreesome by ctbn60jlvsclrk on June 10th, 2011 07:53 pm (UTC)
They are _so_ totally going to remember!
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:45 am (UTC)
Oh, they are definitely going to remember. Then poor Clark won't know what hit him. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!
phoenixnzphoenixnz on June 10th, 2011 08:07 pm (UTC)
I'm going to add my vote for a sequel. This was gorgeous and too, too funny.
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
LOL It seems that everyone wants a sequel! I didn't plan for that response. I don't have one in the works but I will consider it if I have some free time.

I am glad that you liked it so much though. I was worried it wouldn't be funny since I don't know how to write drunk people but I am relieved you thought it was.

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!
ctbn60: SV_Ollie_Clark_Leatherfetishctbn60 on June 11th, 2011 12:04 am (UTC)
Okay likes YES TOTALLY remember Oliver and Lois and I totally want the sequel! Cute one hon!
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 11th, 2011 03:47 am (UTC)
Oh, trust me, they are definitely going to remember. As for the sequel, I don't have one planned but I will consider it, if I have some free time.

I'm glad you liked it thought! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. :)
The Queen Mab: she's my manthequeenmab on June 16th, 2011 05:13 pm (UTC)
I should say that it was a while that I didn't comment your works, but this one was SO enjoyable that I cannot help myself! Perfectly on character, I can "feel" the scene as it was real. Amazing. ^_-
svgurl: oliver/lois/clarksvgurl on June 17th, 2011 05:26 am (UTC)
Aww, I'm glad to hear that you liked it so much that it prompted you to comment. Characterization is really important to me so I am happy that you thought mine was right and even more thrilled that you could picture it.

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review! :D
lizzy384: birthday cakelizzy384 on April 10th, 2013 03:14 pm (UTC)
Happy Birthday!!!!
Hi! Well, this seems to be the drill now. I know it's been sooo long (maybe even since your birthday last year). But today's your special day, so you deserve love & what better love than reviews! ;-)

So, yes, 1st a big huge Happy 26th Birthday! Hope you have a brilliant, wonderful, fabulous, marvellous, gorgeous, spleniferous and most definitely happy day!

I so miss seeing your stories, but I do understand all too well how RL can get in the way, so I've just had scrounge around and find one I hadn't read and reviewed yet! And this one was too cute to resist!

Gotta love a good drunk dial fic and you did fabulously! Hee-hee...Ollie and Lois were absolutely hi-larious! Poor Clark, not only dealing with drunk Ollie and Lois, but having to hold himself back honourably in the face of their attempted seduction, while being totally turned on! Not surprised he was so tempted with all that yumminess on offer *huge grin* (I've been sending my friend weekly doses of 'yum' and Justin and then Tom were my 1st 2 weeks - looking through all those pics, & damn, Justin is gorgeous ;-)

Anyway, enough of my drooling! Back to the review. I thought you did a great job of capturing all three of them (of course! why am I not surprise at all?! Hee-hee). Lois and Ollie were totally cute in their drunk enthusiasm and total lack of verbal filter. "Clarkie"...tee-hee, makes me think, "Clarkie and Ollie sitting in a tree" - yes, I'm that juvenile (well, sometimes!).

Totally loved: '“A bucket list is the people you want to fuccckkkkk,” Lois said, drawling out the last word, causing him to blush. “You know, before you die and all.”' Because I always love when Clark gets all embarrassed about sex - it's so adorable.

And it just makes him all the more attractive that he totally doesn't see it - like your Ollie said: '“Uh, duh,” Oliver said. “I mean, you’re wound up a bit tight, but you’re fuckin hot.”' And then the whole watching each other *gah* the images! I'd totally be in Lois' position to see that! Yummy!

Clark was a total saint to resist (buy hey, he is Boyscout for a reason!). Now they just need to remember...and I somehow suspect that they will (well, Ollie will at least - he seems to have had plenty of experience of drinking - I reckon he'd keep his memories - well at least the important ones like Clark's deal! And I can just see him coming up with creative ways of reminding Clark too, just to make him squirm some more! Hee-hee).

I'd say I hope you do a sequel, but given the time that's gone by, I know it's probably not in the works. But still, if your muse ever catches you, I'd love to read what come next!

Phew - think I've written more that the length of the fic - sometimes I just ramble! But you give me so much to ramble about!

Before I go - it's getting late, 2 thing made me giggle recently I thought you'd appreciate too. One you may have seen...I seem to remember you watched Glee? Though maybe you don't anymore - it's not as good as it was. But still, Sue has some great lines, in the last ep I watched, she compared Blaine to a 'gay Clark Kent from season 1 of Smallville' Now I suspect she meant he was the gay version of Clark, but I chose to read it as her thinking Clark was gay (and probably carrying on a relationship with Lex, since that was his only real option at the time - though I'd prefer to think of him with Whitney) and that Sue is secretly a slash shipper - hee-hee ;-)

The second thing was when I happened to notice that they were showing the original pilot of Lois & Clark (ah, the memories - I used to think Dean Caine was so cute), so I recorded it (and got momentarily excited that they might be reshowing the whole series, but alas they were not). Point is, there is this great scene where Clark goes into a storage room so he can dash out to search for Lois and Perry follows him and they have this wonderfully awkward conversation about why Clark is in there that ended with a bewildered Perry saying, "when are you coming?...out of the closet?", to which Clark replies, "soon sir, very soon". I loved it! I know they didn't mean it that way, but I just couldn't help reading into it! Waaaay too funny!

Anyway, I'd really better sign off now and go to bed! Til next time! xo M ;-)